Sharing thoughtfully

There’s no wrong way to share your MBC diagnosis with your loved ones. While it may be difficult for them at first—they may not know what to say or how to support you—it’s a conversation you’ll get through together.

These tips can help you decide who you want to talk to about your diagnosis, when to share information, and how much information to share:

  • Make a list of people whom you want to talk to in person
  • Ask another loved one to be with you when you share the news 
  • Decide how much information you would like to share during the discussion, and set expectations for others about what information you are comfortable sharing and how often you plan to share
Person Thoughtfully Sharing MBC DiagnosisPerson Thoughtfully Sharing MBC Diagnosis

After sharing your diagnosis

Once you’ve shared your diagnosis, it may be helpful to discuss how your loved ones can support you. There may be tasks you need help with or routines you need to alter. Having an open dialogue creates a space for you and your loved ones to make decisions together.

Person Talking to a loved one About MBC Person Talking to a loved one About MBC

Talking with children about MBC

Children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or other young people in your life may be curious about your MBC, and your instinct may be to avoid upsetting them. But you don’t need to handle this conversation alone. Your caregiver or other adults you’ve spoken to can be helpful in these discussions. Lean on them if you find this challenging.

Adolescents, teens, and young adult children may have a lot of questions. Young children may not understand what cancer means, so it may be helpful to use simple, plain language to talk about it and focus on what is happening now versus what might happen in the future.

Some basic information that may be helpful to share with children:

  • What cancer is
  • Where you will go for treatment and what happens at treatment
  • How your body and appearance may change during treatment (eg, fatigue, weight changes, hair loss)
  • How this might affect them (eg, other adults might be helping around the house and with childcare)

Above all, help ensure that children understand that while cancer is a serious disease, there is a team of doctors, nurses, and other people helping you. Let children know it’s OK for them to cry and that it’s also OK for adults to cry. Encourage children to share how they feel and reassure them that they will always be loved and cared for no matter what.

It’s OK not to talk about your MBC

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your MBC, that’s also OK. You don’t need to accept help or talk about how you’re feeling if you’re not up for it. It’s good to set boundaries and let those close to you know when you’re open to support or talking.

What to remember when talking about your MBC

  • Find someone to talk to when you need to. It’s healthy to want to share how you feel. Remember that you are not a burden to your loved ones.
  • You don’t need to put on a “happy face” if you don’t feel happy. While you might want to protect your loved ones and prevent them from worrying by acting cheerful, it is more helpful to share how you actually feel, rather than bottling it up.
  • There is no right or wrong way to talk about your MBC. You are going through a difficult experience and are doing the best you can.